"The Ways in Which I am a Cat"

By: Jamie Bryant

My father is not a cat person

He dislikes that their trust and love is earned

Dogs, he says, love you unconditionally. And besides I've never had a positive experience with a cat

He follows this by talking about how cats don't love you even when you give them food and shelter and I can't help but think it's no wonder he doesn't like me

I am simply a cat.

I 'expect too much' and my 'trust is earned'

How awful it is to want more than the bare minimum around a dog person

How hard it is to earn my trust in his opinion

My dad is a dog person.

He wants to give little and get everything in return

He does not realise that people are not like dogs in this way

Unless of course you have not learnt to think for yourself

It strikes me this is the reason my opinion has never been appreciated

If I think for myself I must expect more than they are used to giving

And in that way I too am like a cat

I am temperamental and do not appreciate being touched

I will bite you if you force me

I only tolerate the hand that feeds me

My affection is won. Not given.

How hard it must be for my father to watch me grow into this

To watch me become a cat and expect people to treat me better or at least the same as they do themselves

I think it was easier for him when I was a dog

I do not care to be that anymore

Doting on anyone who will give me scraps of attention

I will no longer call myself full when I am hungry for love in this way

You will earn my trust or you will not have me

My loyalty is unconditional but not freely given

I am a cat person and a cat

And I will be the whole relationship if I need to

Before I let you walk all over me and call it love

Rationale:

This poem was written after a conversation with my therapist about my Dad, and how his love appears to be conditional and highly out of balance.